Προσοχή: Μποιούνα

Pierre Locher2.5

I appreciate how seriously this film takes itself. It takes its time building tension rather than throwing the creature at you every five minutes, and when it finally shows up, it looks pretty damn good.The acting is laughable at times, and I do wish the kills were a bit more brutal and convincing.

Kylo3.5

The way Boiuna popped its head out of the river with the cutest eyes.

James.3.0

I like big snakes and I cannot lieBeware Boiúna can't denyA final girl walks by with a reptile ‘round her waistAnd a serpent in your face, you get flung 🎵Honestly, it’s a chemical reaction at this point. The moment a big snake flick ends, my brain shifts into full Sir Mix-a-Lot mode, and "Baby Got Back" immediately takes over. Beware Boiúna is the newest B(ish)-movie to activate my inner 90s hip-hop star, and it is a chaotic ride.The 5 Python-ic Bewares of Boiúna:1. Beware of Bad CGI. The snake special effects were surprisingly good. Unlike the hilarious CGI in Anaconda 3: Offspring or those Syfy channel classics such as Mega Python vs. Gatoroid, this mythical Amazonian snake actually looks solid, and mostly realistic.2. Beware of Bad Pacing. The pacing is much like that of Anaconda. Both movies make you wait to see the actual snake, but Beware Boiúna takes it to another level. Honestly, Jon Voight’s ponytail had more action in the first act of Anaconda than this entire film manages in its first hour — at least in 1997 we had a young J-Lo, an Ice Cube, and a few “Wows” from Owen Wilson.3. Beware of Mud-Pits. There is a scene in a swampy marsh that rivals the being-stuck-on-a-rock tension of Tremors or the long grass attack in The Lost World: Jurassic Park. It is creepy, claustrophobic, and a total stick in the mud. Literally. It plays out like the Swamp of Sadness scene from The NeverEnding Story, except instead of a horse succumbing to clinical depression, it's a giant ancient snake waiting to swallow everyone whole. Atreyu would have turned his ass right around.4. Beware of Two “Final Girls”. Jessica Rothe is great in this, but gives way to Kiana Madeira. Rothe plays Alli, and basically treats this entire giant snake situation like a massive jungle remix of Happy Death Day. The way she faces down a colossal reptile makes you realize that if she can survive getting brutally murdered by a baby-masked killer on a continuous loop, a mere 100-foot serpent stands absolutely zero chance. "She decides who lives. She decides who dies." — Lena (Kiana Madeira).5. Beware of Intelligent Villains. The human villains are dumber than Lloyd Christmas and Harry Dunne turning down the personal "oil boys" job on the bikini model bus at the end of Dumb and Dumber. Instead of running the other way like Lloyd and Harry, these cliché thugs keep trying to outsmart a prehistoric biological weapon. Watching them try to out-maneuver a giant snake is like watching someone try to lasso a tornado.🐍🐍🐍 out of 5My anaconda don't want noneUnless you've got guns, hunWhip-tshh! 🎵— Sir Mix-TOO-Much 🤦🏻‍♂️