Μπάνιλοβρ

girlactress

A star is born ❤️

Megan (stoobs) Cruz3.5

“I think I might be evil”I’m positive this film is going to be deeply misunderstood by a lot of people. Most of the conversations I overheard after my screening were lamenting the limited role of Rachel Sennott’s more comedic & lighthearted character and wondering who this film is for. Well it’s for me. The reality of modern sex work is that it’s incredibly common. The convenience of cam work and the accessibility of online platforms make this a realistic avenue for many women trying to gain financial stability and independence in a world that has taught and reinforced to them that their youth and beauty are their most valuable assets. The problem is, as with much of the modern world, there is no community built into this. There is nothing protecting you from yourself and the harm you can inflict when the guardrails are lifted. There’s no one to warn you that you might be going too far and the loneliness and shame can become compounded in ways that start to feel inescapable. So many films about sex work just use the set up as a narrative device. An avenue for hijinks and lingering shots of supple bodies instead of a truthful attempt at something real. This film isn’t trying to entertain you. It’s not a fairytale or a cautionary tale. It’s not presenting its subject as a victim of circumstance or an unlikely hero. It’s just honest. There are countless stories about the existential and visceral pain of young adulthood. The loneliness of trying to find yourself in a world where you’re not quite sure where you fit yet. There are notably less stories that address the intersection of these feelings with the patriarchal ideals attached to young womanhood. Genuine sexual and emotional urges mixed in with the ingrained need to be perceived as sexy, to be desired, to be loved and somewhat contradictorily respected. It is unbearably confusing to figure out who and what you really are, let alone how to get the world to see you as you want to be seen. Obviously, what Katarina Zhu has created here is immensely personal, but it’s also a true and earnest portrayal of an experience that is all too common. The lack of glamor and polish is the point. This film is unsettling and quiet and meandering because that is the truth of this experience and while I am sure that her technique as a filmmaker will grow, I appreciate so much that this film as as raw and unapologetic as it is. This film won’t work for everyone but I think its existence will matter immensely to those who need it.

Penny_S2.5

CW: animal abuseI wasn’t going to finish this, but after a break went back & skipped forward past the scene with the bunny. It was kinda long. Fortunately they didn’t die in the story. Also irl they weren’t harmed (but it sure looked like they could have been).The film is about a young woman who is desperately trying to feel something/anything really… but then, after trying to live this way she ends up realizing she prefers her own created fictional life to reality.It’s a compelling story, I just wish there were no animals in it.