Καστρεϊσιον Μούβι Κεφάλαιο iii.ii Τζούνιορ Γκόστς — Πρεμορφική Μετατόπιση

Vera Drew5.0

the best installment yet. simultaneously confronting and warm in its exploration of trans identity, the people who love us, and the ones who refuse to. Avalon Fast is a national treasure. Louise Weard is one of the most important directors working right now and i can’t believe she’s my friend/that i got to go golfing with her today.screening at American Cinematheque Bleak Week 2026 + q&a with Louise and Avalon moderated by some hot late 30s trans chick in a Hot Topic dress

ke_5.0

The first time I remember feeling Feminine was in 2019 when I met my (now-)ex for the first time at an anime convention. Her roommate and I were drunk from a mystery liquid we had found on the floor of their hotel room that morning. We passed some maid dresses and thought it'd be "funny" (and another guy in the group already had one on anyways). When we came back to the girls who were still getting ready, they agreed to do our makeup. Her friend who did mine wasn't white, so I trusted her to not fuck me up. The day is largely a drunken blur, but I remember looking at myself in the mirror a lot. I remember her asking me something about gender and my relationship to it at some point while we were still together. I think she probably would have been supportive. I didn't tell her, or maybe I couldn't tell her, didn't have the language to really express myself, also it didn't feel like a Good Boyfriend move to say how often I thought about my face that day. I don't think I was sure why that was or what it meant. I later felt guilty for "hiding" it from her. When I decided to transition in 2022, I did not tell my job or family. I talked to my regular doctor. He was helpful, kind, and sincere. I remember my mental preparation, assuming pushback. I had already priced out DIY. I was in Texas. I did not know any trans women. The day before the appointment, I had a beard. He offered me kindness, and while the endocrinologist he referred me to didn't take my insurance, my doctor helped me get my levels tested after I eventually started DIY HRT. I never came out at work over the 3 years of being on them. I lied to my family when my tits started becoming visible. I told, I think, 2 or 3 friends when I started hormones. In those first 2.5 years, I met 1 other trans woman in person. So much of my relative "restraint" regarding my own transition and presentation is because I feel in my bones an inherent failure of feminine performance. I know I made the right decision in transitioning, but I am so fearful of being seen as having done that. I haven't worn makeup since that day in 2019.This chapter shifts the panopticon and security state style focus into the domestic and isolating early realities of transitioning. It's not polite to say, but being in that stage of transitioning requires a trans woman to become extremely self absorbed. It requires so much strength to try and reorient your relationship to the world and the world's relationship to you that you almost can't see outside yourself. Tiffany wants to be able to breathe in her new reality as soon as she says it. Developmentally, we model our behavior on those around us. When I was younger, I remember being told I talked or acted gay (I don't) because so much of my self was and is modeled after my mother who raised me by herself. In the past year and a half, I've realised that a lot of the person I've grown into was subconsciously modeled after my afformentioned ex circa 2020. Being in a 9 year relationship, one of Tiffany's primary models is her girlfriend, Izzy. She watches Tiffany put her makeup on, ask for her tights, shave her boyfriend's face. Tiffany desires approval from someone who has loved her as she was for 9 years, but Izzy is only capable of seeing her through her male signifiers. Shoulders, stubble, "aggressive." Every bit of femininity that Tiffany tries embracing (including even her name) is immediately met with denial or refusal. Not sure where to put this but the correlation drawn wrt Tiffany's impetus to transition is kinda staggering and probably irresponsible. It's perfect.

autocinephilia

Thank you Baltimore <3