to witness Kimi's physical decline was one of the more tragic things I've seen on film. how can life be so unbearable for some of us? I can't grasp the amount of self destruction, since I fortunately haven't ever experienced this kind of misery myself. just the way the man smoked his cigarette; hastily, without any breaths in between. if one smokes a cig like that, so pragmatically, it can't be any good. I felt his pain through the screen, it made me rather uncormfortable. the story began in a gloomy, but also kind of romantic 'edgy' depressed teenage dream - surrounded by alcoholic energy drinks and Joy division - but went more and more downhill. I will never forget the part in which Kimi said: "life is merciless, I wanted to be president, but something went wrong along the way." indeed it was merciless to see such a smart, good-hearted guy slowly deteriorate until the end. the way Marusya managed to capture his tragedy; raw, serious but lighthearted, with some humour here and there, and incredibly effective music... made the whole thing hit even harder. because this film was not only about depression, drugs or self-destruction. nor was it about the desparate political situation in Russia and all it's harm. for me, what I saw was just as much about finding each other in an appalling situation, the deep love that can sprout from that, and the transformation of pain, since the ever-present camera was Marusya's way to deal with her feelings.
