Step 1: Turn on your typewriterStep 2: Think of a really cool title for a movieStep 3: Name your movie that titleStep 4: Write your scriptStep 5: Make sure to give your characters lots of depth and cool namesStep 6: Finish the first draft of your script Step 7: Take it to your friend to look over for editsStep 8: Throw things at your friend when they say the movie is badStep 9: Realize your friend was right and apologizeStep 10: Arduous editing to make your shitty script good Step 11: After months of hard work you finally have a good scriptStep 12: Go to Alfred Hitchcock's houseStep 13: Sneak inside his house and hideStep 14: When he arrives home quickly grab him and tie him upStep 15: Force him to read your script and make your movieStep 16: Congratulations! You found a directorStep 17: Wait patiently for Alfred Hitchcock to begin making your movieStep 18: Call him once every week and remind him that you wait in the darkness for him if he begins to forget your movie existsStep 19: Call Alfred Hitchcock at 2 am in the morning and remind him again of your ability to make his life wretched if he doesn't create the beautiful image of your imagination Step 20: Hooray! First day on set Step 21: Stand quietly behind Alfred Hitchcock so that HE KNOWSStep 22: Watch as he creates the picture Step 23: I don't know? Get a sandwich or something. These are a lot of steps Step 24: Return to set Step 25: oh no you underestimated the powers of thy dark lord Alfred. He has a staff. What is he going to do with that staffStep 26: It's glowing brightly. What is happening? Everything is becoming big around meStep 27: oh god I'm shrinking Step 28: I can't see anything higher than his legsStep 29: My arms are folding inside of me. oh jesus i am in so much painStep 30: I can feel it now. my legs are buckling Step 31: my sight is growing dimStep 32: I'm tilting over. I'm falling Step 33: I can't breathe. Step 34: helpStep 35: my heart i cannot feel itStep 36: ......i am not humanStep 37: *Alfred Hitchcock puts his staff away and approaches*Step 38: *he picks me up*Step 39: *I have been turned on. I am now a camera. I can now only see the 39 steps. I have become the movie. I mourn my life*
