Black Ends

“Everything changed after I saw Black Ends last year — back then I was on the straight and narrow with a really good job lobbying for Lockheed Martin and a condo and a hot wife, but a friend of mine took me to see this band at a club in DC after happy hour because he’d heard good things. It was pure psychic damage. Ben Swanson took his bass and tomahawked me in the head from across the room. I got caught in the mosh and when I looked up at the stage I saw Nicolle Swims pull a live worm out of a crack in the wall and slurp it up like an egg noodle. Ever since then I haven’t been the same. Before I lost the condo I’d spend my nights listening to my copy of Psychotic Spew over and over again, and then I’d have these dreams where I’m in my office and there’d be this dark hairy little monster in the corner of my eye that runs up and screams and gnaws my leg off while “Red Worry” plays in the background. When I wake up I’d smell sewage on my pillow. I had to leave the job. Then what happened was I used to be friends with this cop who lived across the street but I couldn’t fucking stand his face anymore, and I saw him do a Nazi salute at his laptop thru the window so I stuck a kitchen rag in a bottle of Belvedere and threw it at his house. I’m on the run now, but I don’t mind. I feel freer than I’ve ever felt in my entire life.” -Bryan, 34 BLACK ENDS IS GUNK POP Nicolle, Ben, Tom, & Karl (featured photos: Lux Lain, McClain Potter, Mike Savoia, Alexandra Marie, Kevin Olmedo)