Dylan Rodrigue

It was a very dark world. I couldn't even see my own hands. At that point, it wasn't even clear if I had them anymore. I'd made friends with the Electronic Stabilizer. Seemingly to my right. A constant beeping, but so varied that I still couldn't decipher any recognizable pattern even after all of this time. Months? Years? Who the fuck knows. But I liked to imagine they were messages of love. "You got it, kid. Just wait it out a little longer." I was quite sure I still had a body. Though any movement was impossible. I'd been cocooned. I could feel my heart beating away, but that could have been an illusion just like the rest of it, for all I knew. Sometimes I'd sing along to the Electronic Stabilizer. My voice sounded like the crinkling of aluminum foil. Not so much notes. More like a sad landscape surrounding the beeping. I got great at counting. I counted a lot. Sometimes I'd count in multiples of twos, threes, fours... Seventeens.... It was endless. It meant nothing. But, hey, it's not like I could read a book. I deeply yearned for human contact, but if my body didn't exist then it was clearly pointless to even fantasize. Even the memories I had of people, relationships, family, grass, trees, sunshine.... They all might as well have been a reality that I concocted long ago in the midst of this constant fever dream state. But this morning the beeping stopped... I don't really know what to do with myself. I'm gonna try to remember that tune I once knew.