Cries in the Night

FakeVoorhees2.5

With Barry Allen as a producer, you'd think this movie would move a little quicker.

Hexagore3.0

Watched the 88 Films Blu-ray released under its "Funeral Home" title.Unfortunately, it's a case where the movie doesn't quite live up to its striking poster art.As a Canuxploitation horror film, "Funeral Home" seems aimed at those who are new to the genre and prefer something atmospheric rather than graphic. Despite being part of the "Slasher Classics Collection," it earns a mild 12 rating on Blu-ray, which feels out of place considering it's far from a traditional slasher. There are only a couple of deaths, and they’re handled with restraint—more classy than gory.The film plays more like a mystery, similar in tone to Nico Mastorakis’ "Grandmother's House (1988)". It follows 15-year-old Heather (Lesleh Donaldson), who visits her grandmother to help out at her tourist boarding house, which was once a funeral home. Like a young Nancy Drew, Heather suspects something is wrong. She hears whispers at night, encounters spooky black cats, and notices that the locks on the basement door are constantly being changed. There's also a mentally challenged caretaker, Billy (Stephen E. Miller), who behaves suspiciously, while a stray black cat roams the grounds, and tourists begin to disappear—very slowly. The mystery behind it all is laid on so thick that you'll probably figure it out far too early.What works in Funeral Home is the cinematography by Mark Irwin, who later shot "Scream (1996)". His use of atmospheric lighting, thunder, and a general "things-that-go-bump-in-the-night" ambiance adds a layer of spookiness to the film. The acting is solid, which helps keep it watchable, but the screenplay and pacing feel pandering. This might be a decent horror movie for 10-year-olds who would find it tense, though older teens may find it dull. That said, the funeral home itself feels like a character, thanks to the excellent use of locations and scenery.There are clear "Little Red Riding Hood" vibes, with Heather visiting her grandmother and unknowingly walking into danger. Veteran actress Kay Hawtrey plays the grandmother effectively, and genre regulars like Barry Morse bring their A-game.While this isn’t director William Fruet’s best work (his "Death Weekend (1976)"is far more intense and effective), the film's eerie, axe-wielding ending stands out. It's the kind of climax that would have been perfect in a real slasher, which nudged me to bump my rating from 2.5 to 3 stars.A very long R.L. Stine's "Goosebumps" episode which is ironic as William Fruet would direct an episode of the show later in his career which would feature the same house ("Night of the Living Dummy III").If you're a fan of the film, the Blu-ray is packed with extras, including two hours of cast and crew interviews.I still appreciate that they released such a visually impressive presentation on physical media, even though the movie itself is fairly tame.

Slig0012.5

A Canadian slasher that relies more on its mystery and atmosphere than its gore and doesn't quite manage to pull it off. Funeral Home begins with a young girl heading off to her grandmother's house to help her turn an old funeral parlour into a bed and breakfast. However, many people in the area, including her own grandfather, have disappeared. Could it be something to do with whatever is going on in the cellar? It's a great premise, but sadly never truly capitalised on. The narrative moves at a snails pace for the most part and the mystery itself is severely undercooked. Anyone who is well versed in slasher cinema will likely guess the conclusion early on anyway. The surrounding characters are decent enough. The granddaughter has a relationship with a local boy and his brother is the only police officer in town bothered by all the recent disappearances. There's a few death scenes though they are tame to the point of making me wonder exactly who this film was aimed at. The central location is good, however, with the cellar in particular a place of intrigue. While the conclusion doesn't come as much of a surprise, it is at least well delivered. Funeral Home is a bit of a dud on the whole.