Ya know, I don't ask for much in this world. But it's been 8 years and there's still no sequel. I like to imagine an alternate reality where this was a massive box office success and we got a new Grindhouse double feature every year. Alas, it was not meant to be. I would be happy with just one sequel. Just one. Preferably with Nicolas Cage returning as Fu Manchu.
grind housenoun: an often shabby movie theater that mainly shows low-budget horror, splatter and exploitation films for adults.Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino's Grindhouse is a double-feature film that recalls both filmmakers' favorite exploitation films. It comprised two individual films helmed separately by each director: Planet Terror and Death Proof. The films are joined together by five clever fake trailers that recall the 60s and 70s exploitation drive-in classics.I reviewed the two films separately (go to the bottom for links) but in this review, I'm just going to rate the fake trailers shown in the film.Grindhouse Fake Trailers Ranked1. Thanksgiving - 5/5This is my favorite Grindhouse fake trailer.Eli Roth's parody on holiday-themed slasher films is gory, funny, and tasteless. I love every moment of it. This fake trailer contained elements that almost earned Grindhouse an NC-17 rating. That scene where a cheerleader strips while jumping on a trampoline, and then she performs a split, not knowing that her vagina is about to be stabbed by the killer who is under the trampoline? Dark comedy gold. The trailer even ends with a shot of the killer humping a Thanksgiving turkey. How fucked up is that?In my opinion, this was the best thing in the entirety of Grindhouse.2. Don't - 5/5Directed by Edgar Wright. It stars a bunch of well-known actors such as Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Jason Isaacs, Lucy Punch, Rafe Spall, and was narrated by Will Arnett.This trailer poked fun at those tiring horror movie clichés. You know that moment when you're watching a horror movie and you can't help but to scream on these fictional characters because of how dumb they are? Well, the title is a reference to that. "Don't go inside the room!", "Don't go inside the basement!", "Don't go upstairs!", and "Don't open the door!". But yet, they still do it. It's funny!3. Hobo with a Shotgun - 4/5Hobo takes the law into his own hands. He kills a bunch of dirty and corrupt cops, criminals, and... a pedophilic Santa Claus. Cool. This was made by a couple of independent filmmakers and was later turned into a feature-length film. I haven't seen it yet but the fake trailer looks awesome.4. Machete - 4/5I'm really glad that Robert Rodriguez decided to turn this into a feature-length film because Danny Trejo and his Spy Kids character deserves it. I've seen the 2010 Mexploitation film and it was glorious. I love its silliness, over-the-top violence, dark humor, and its characters. The trailer was great but the actual movie was even better.5. Werewolf Women of the SS - 3/5The title says it all. Rob Zombie's trailer for this film is a brilliant achievement in motion picture history. Finally, the truth about Hitler's diabolical plans to create a race of superwomen can be told...Lol. This was my least favorite fake Grindhouse trailer. However, that doesn't mean it's not any good. I actually like the concept, no kidding. Plus, it stars Nicolas Cage as... Fumanchu? He even get to flex his signature acting skills in this trailer. "THIS IS MY MECCA! AHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHA!"Now, go read my Planet Terror review and Death Proof review.