Like, um, let’s say your driving along the road with your family, and you’re driving along, lalala, woohoo, then all of a sudden there’s a truck tire in the middle of the road, and you hit the brakes—EEEERRRRRRR—woah. That was close. Now, let’s see what happens when you’re driving with the “other guy’s” brake pads…You’re driving along, you’re driving along, and all of a sudden the kids are yelling in the backseat, “I gotta go to the bathroom, daddy!” “NOT NOW, DAMN IT!”TRUCK TIRE—EEEEEERRRRRRRRR—“I. CAN’T. STOP!!!” (smashing) “HELLLPPP!!!”Then there’s a cliff—“AAAAHHHH!!!” BAM!And your family’s screaming, “OH MY GOD WE’RE BURNING ALIVE!!! NOOOO I CAN’T FEEL MY LEGS!”In comes the meat wagon! WEE-OOH WEE-OOH WEE-OOH! And the medic gets out and says, “Oh. My. God.”New guy’s in the corner puking his guts out, “BLAAH! BLAAAAHHHH!!”All because…you wanted to save a few extra pennies!My dad’s favorite movie of all time. My mom’s gift to him on his very first Father’s Day was this on VHS. Every single line lives permanently in my vocabulary and in my soul. I still pause the pool scene to try to get a glimpse of a nipple. Rest in peace, Mr. Farley.
